In case you're wondering, one divorced dad swept me off my feet then dropped me over a ledge. Another captured my heart and still holds it, most tenderly. And one remains a trusted friend to this day and I'm glad. So here goes -- one single mother's set of red flags when it comes to dating divorced men, culled from a very long decade of post-marital dating experience.
Do be careful of the dreams about dating a celebrity man who is only recently out of his marriage. Unless of course you're looking for a fling like himlooking to experiment as is heor looking to get your heart broken. Be particularly cautious if he's already looking for Spouse 2. We all need time to heal and don't want to plunge blindly into the rebound relationship.
Be especially wary if Mr. Wonderful is shopping for Spouse 4, 5, What Do Your Kids Think? Do pay attention to what your kids think of him, and what his kids think of you. Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up. But extreme discomfort, admin dating factory out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. Our children have excellent instincts.
We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation. If you each have children at different stages -- for example, your kids are in elementary school and his what not to do when dating a divorced man in college -- anticipate some potential problems if you're hoping for a long-term relationship. I, for one, recommend a class at Babeland called The Art of the Blowjob.
Whatever you do, avoid berating her in front of him. Anger and resentment are unattractive emotions, and you do yourself no favors by coming across as bitter. By speaking ill of his ex, you also risk triggering his defense mechanism. No matter how many times he wonders what the fuck he was thinking when marrying the psychobitch, he was indeed married to said psychobitch at one point.
Refrain From Googling Her Google stalking is standard practice these days. Choose a celebrity to obsess over instead. Without a doubt, financial issues are a leading cause of divorce. Be Discreet Your boyfriend divorced his first wife, but not his entire former life. It is thus bound to be somewhat awkward for him to integrate you into his social circle, and you should be mindful of this. If he prefers to remain discreet for a while, respect his choice of hole-in-the-wall restaurant and his hesitance to be overly affectionate in public.
He might ask that you refrain from advertising your relationship via social media channels, too. If you like the guy enough, it should be sufficient to be together without the whole world knowing about it online dating message jokes the start. On the upside of forsaking your Facebook relationship status, by being so cooperative and understanding you will showcase your unwavering devotion.
In short, expect milestones to arrive at a more sluggish pace.