Some of them were off put by my very non-traditional beliefs and lifestyle. I'm not generalizing, though. I'm sure that there are plenty of educated brown men who are comfortable dating unconventional brown women and don't secretly want a white girl. Please don't send me angry emails, for I know these men exist. I, however, never met one who showed any interest in me.
Believe me - I looked. Also, the further I got into my education, I'm talking about graduate school, the fewer Latinos I came across. Advertisement That is not to say that dating a white man was my last resort. I can't imagine a better partner for myself. I'm lucky to have found him. It's in meeting him that I let go of many of preconceived notions. For example, not all white people eat boiled hot dogs for dinner, listen to Dave Matthews Band, and do the funky chicken at weddings.
These are things I simply did not know. My boyfriend sincerely wanted to know about my culture, he valued my intelligence and was interested in my innumerable opinions. He even watched Chespirito for me. Clearly, to him I wasn't just some spicy Latina shaking my proverbial maracas. At this point in our four-year relationship, sometimes he makes some salsas that are better than mine.
He often speaks Spanish without even realizing it. Of course, there are tensions that result from cultural misunderstandings. Having grown up poor as hell, my complexes about class have made some star appearances. Also, having been condescended to so many times in my life for being a woman of color - "Oh how cute, that little Mexican girl thinks she's a writer!
If I even suspect someone is patronizing me, I lose my temper cue neck jerk and obligatory "Oh hells nah! Sometimes I'm wrong, though. Most of the time, I forget that we're an interracial couple. Once and a while, however, other people seem to be really bothered latina dating a white man it. I can't count how many times a white woman has given me a dirty look when I'm with my boyfriend.
Just not my thing. I might watch Matthew McConaughey and swoon over his roguish grin and molasses drawl. I might even spend an evening charming some former frat bros at latina dating a white man bar for my personal avoid sex in dating. That is it, though. Fleeting interest and attention at best.
It was not a hard-and-fast rule, as in: It was just there in the back of my mind: No offense was taken on either side. The exchange stuck with me, though. Made me feel a bit hypocritical and narrow-minded, two states I actively work to avoid. Meanwhile, my social circle is full of black women married to or dating white men. All seem no more or less happy than other couples I know. I had no good reason why white guys were off my romantic radar.
So I christmas gifts for guys you just started dating to explore why I could love white men like family but not envision them as potential partners. The answer is rooted in love and fear. Love for men who move through the world in ways that remind me of my father. Fear of being ostracized by those very same men or fetishized by their white counterparts.
The love part is a beautiful thing. I grew up surrounded by handsome black men who were strong-minded, hard-working, upwardly mobile and worldly. They were the heroes of our community. At a home, it was understood that if Billy Dee Williams — not Paul Newman, not Richard Gere — dating agency durban ever knock latina dating a white man our door, my mother was leaving with him.
Black men were the standard. I carry that with me today.